Why is a raven like a writing desk?

You pretend you know what you’re doing in life, you don’t. I’m on to you; you’re just making this stuff up as you plod along. Why do you behave immorally sometimes? Err, some combination of instinct and learned behaviour. Conscious thought has almost nothing to do with it. Usually, I rationalize a reason only after I have already performed the action. Alas, I have seen other people reflected in mirrors, but my mirror always reflects me, very disappointing but it is correct, but, in summary, I’ve spent very little time in writing this summary! Don’t look now Ethel or you’ll miss it, but there’s that thing behind you that disappears when you look at it. In conclusion: Everything is undefined.
You may disagree. “Everything” is defined in the dictionary, after all. But there is a problem: words in the dictionary are all defined in terms of other words in the dictionary. If you want to know what “everything” is, you’ll first need to know what “the” and “a” are, which in turn depend on other words in the dictionary, and so on. Eventually you’ll get back to “everything.” That’s the infinite curiosity loop.
Of course, this is hardly a problem. We all know what the word “everything” means without looking it up in the dictionary. We learned it from experience. As long as all the words we want to look up are defined in terms of some basic words we know from experience, we won’t be stuck in the infinite curiosity loop. Of cause, ambiguous words defeat the object anyway. Our knowledge comes from two places. The first is our experience. The second is our derivations, which are just rearrangements of our experience. Then to be more original, it helps to have a unique experience.

He didn’t look happy.
I have stuff to worry about, he said.
He then furrowed his eyebrows.
Sh*t, he said. Fuck*ng sh*t.
This went on for a while. And then:
Oh no, he said. Oh no!
What? I said.
Sh*t! he said.
He was really into it.

So I was hula hooping naked whilst singing Surfin Bird by The Trashmen, just like I do every Sunday morning, when a woman started staring at me from across the street. Seriously, she just stared for a good 10 minutes. Why do people have to be so weird? When children are young, they learn what it means to be inside or outside of their home. Food can be inside or outside of the oven. Dogs can be inside or outside of their kennels. It occurs to them that “inside” and “outside” are terms with wide applicability. So what is outside the universe? There are monsters, hungry monsters, which eat little children who ask too many questions. And rightly so, children are horridly spoilt now, new car, caviar, what did I get as a child? Chicken pox is all I can recall.

My religion says you have to conclude that your own ability to conclude things is faulty, she said.
That’s the only way any of it makes any sense.
I conclude that your religion is faulty, he said.
She concluded that too, but she concluded that her conclusion was false.
So you believe in it too? she said.

In the words of I, even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day...

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