Dear Stupid Reader,
Impede my time you will, as you fornicate with my mind in a nauseating homage of pitiful relation. You perpetually censor my vomiting in a rhythmless heartbeat as you bake cookies on some god forsaken thespian run cesspit. Alas you pestilent strumpet, the fish in the pierced bucket has jumped ship, this cat still has six lives left. Catch the facetious bemuting of microphallus monkeys, you corpulent, clay-brained, misbegotten, leaden-footed slubberdegullion Helminth! Shoo!
(Note: I am fully aware of the incorrect usage of slubberdegullion - *puts fingers in ears “la la la la”*)
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