The Evil Monkey in the Closet

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Steven Mullaney Some shoddy piece of card means nothing! If you love me, bake me a cake!
14 Feb 2010

Steven Mullaney hates Christmas parties, I feel sick; all that ‘being nice’ stuff - I really shouldn’t drink the free red wine.
30 Dec 2009

Steven Mullaney Feels this pending hangover is going to be as welcome as a Jehovah Witness with Syphilis knocking on the door at six in the morning.
27 Dec 2009

Steven Mullaney Oh, how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you because there's not enough time in the day!
25 Dec 2009

Steven Mullaney I can put up with a lot of things; hip hop music about lip gloss, people that wear Mickey Mouse hands on hats whilst dancing to the alphabet song, people that think Cliff Richard actually exists. But Jesus Christ! How does one justify selling a Christmas dinner with only ‘ONE’ pig in blanket?
21 Dec 2009

Steven Mullaney Not a problem that can't be cured with a little red wine, except leprosy perhaps.
13 Dec 2009

Steven Mullaney Is feeling as random as a pink elephant eating a banana peel in a pool of spatulas baby! x
21 Oct 2009

Steven Mullaney Help, NO WINE LEFT, head sobering, reminiscences forming, what is happening to me! Help me!!
19 Oct 2009

Steven Mullaney Is a bad person, has always been, and yet you people are always surprised!
21 Sep 2009

Steven Mullaney Hasn’t been this puzzled since Mr Bailey showed him a kiwifruit in 1998
20 Sep 2009

Steven Mullaney thinks there’s too many people in this world, only really need about six.
29 Aug 2009

Steven Mullaney is never going outside again... unless I need someplace to throw up, which may be very soon thanks to this perpetual hang-over
22 Aug 2009

Steven Mullaney is not amused, Facebook is broken, wonder if MySpace will take me back? I’ll buy some flowers.
16 Aug 2009

Steven Mullaney It’s all your fault I’m drunk, look at you all, all over the place like a nest of pigs! If I wasn’t trapped here I wouldn’t have so much to blot out.
31 July 2009

Steven Mullaney This little piggy stayed home
14 July 2009

Steven Mullaney Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me I'm the Gingerbread Man!
27 June 2009

I couldn’t care less if your mobile phone could err, sharpen pencils! My phone can call people, which is odd isn’t it, considering that is why I brought the dame thing! It’s quite depressing that I’m the one considered ‘odd’ in a world full of trivial monkeys nervously shouting “that’s Spartacus there!” Whilst, like illuminated crickets, they text people stood next to them ‘did ya get me txt?”
Materialism is a burden on your disposition, like baggage of ‘this is me’; like vomit in an ASDA plastic bag with one of them paper miniature umbrellas that you usually find in cocktails. With the aforementioned yoke carried, you’ll fail to fall through the self-sieving that is, what is, the development of constructing a constructive experience of your experience, err, hang on. Your glass maybe half full now, but there is no escaping the fact that the glass is also half empty. Happiness is a temporary distraction. Every distraction and every obstacle is a cause of concern and an obstruction in your will, that is, by you, labelled ‘evil’. He whose desires are in difference in comparison to yours is wrong; he who blocks you from your destination is ‘evil’. Revenge is wrong and unnecessary, unless said act is committed by you, apparently, by your innate logic anyway. Man serves himself, and his neighbours loathe it, as it interferes with their self-interest.
What is ‘evil’? Do you think, really, that the universe has any concept of ‘evil’? If in musical chairs you lose, then you lose, and that is ‘life’ as they say, whoever ‘they’ are, presumably a bunch of haughty, overpaid, overfed, triple chinned hermits sat round a table inventing job titles.
Praying to a God for a ‘get out of jail free card’ is simply just being arrogantly delusional. You are naturally polarising your perception by naively ranking yourself above standard on the goodness scale, stop it! You are not God, kinda. The dichotomy of good and evil is either a lack of knowledge or a refusal of acceptance; crowning one evil is the equivalent of “ask your mother” in this dynamic world of bigger houses and noisier cars, where charity is collateral, and love a token unity.
Rivalry is the mother of development, but development is then the product of envy, thus unjustifiable outrage is the frustration of man and the architect of war, thus rendering the ignorant monkeys forever belligerently unsettled. Ok, to some, life is a game, and to win a game, everyone else must lose! True, but, unlike the duration, life is not relative, define winning before you throw the dice.

The Evil Monkey in the Closet

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